Monday, March 9, 2009

And then they're gone.

OK, first I will start off with the fact that I am totally bummed right now. It took me forever to get used to using a digital. I love my 35 mm. But I love having a digital now. You can get rid of photos that you don't want plus, I don't have pics laying all around. I can put them on a disc and print them when I need to. But when Shawn did the polar plunge a few weeks ago, my camera decided to quit working. I need to take it in and see if it is fixable at all because I hate not having photos to upload on blogger, facebook, or myspace.

I have had somewhat of an emotional week this last week. Lots of memories and emotions going on. I posted pics last summer of my grandpa. He had been fighting his battle of small cell cancer. Throughout this last year, he has been very strong and good. He married his girlfriend of three years, Sandy. She is absolutely wonderful and takes really good care of him. They went on a cruise for their honeymoon, knowing that when he got back, the start of chemo would be happening again. His cancer is back. He is also deciding to put his house up for sale. And I think that is where the emotions hit.

I completely understand selling the house and moving into Sandy's. It makes sense. Why pay two utilities, two taxes, have mail coming to two houses? I get it. But helping pack up things in a house that I briefly lived in but have known my whole life was hard. This is the house my mom and uncles grew up in. The house my grandpa and grandma shared a life in.

To be honest, my mom and her dad have a very strained relationship. I am so lucky that I have a relationship with him. My mom loves him but for some reason that none of us know...he isn't as willing with her. Even my sister isn't that lucky and I feel GUILTY that I do have a good bond with him. And I have prayed. Over and over again. That things (even though not perfect) can make some sort of ammends. Life is short. While packing up the china and cabinet to come to my house, I got really emotional. This is the china that my grandma bought when my mom was little. I went through pictures and found some that I had never seen. Then while upstairs with Sandy, I found my uncle Tony's baby book with his baby bracelet. And the tears came on. Handwriting from my grandma's fingertips (she died when I was three). My uncle's first moments (he died when I was eight). My mom has lost a lot.

I had invited Grandpa and Sandy to our church this weekend because they were having their 20th anniversary deal. I had mentioned to mom that our old pastor was going to be there so she wanted to come. I told Sandy that mom was coming and to let grandpa know. No surprises. Mom sat next to Sandy during this Sunday's church service and then Grandpa invited ALL of us to brunch afterwards. Even mom. No, they did not talk. There was no lovey dovey. But mom and Sandy talked and laughed. Grandpa had a good time with us. And mom thanked Sandy for taking good care of her dad. And she hugged him goodbye. Even though nothing will come of it, it was a good day. One my mom had been wanting for so long and I thank Grandpa for giving that to her. And I pray. God is good. Love is life.

Monday, March 2, 2009


Why is it that men lose weight quicker than women? We do all the hard work of giving birth and unfortunately that is where all our weight gain comes from and they lose it quicker, like they work as hard to get it off! LOL...

No seriously, we had our first weigh in challenge and I am down a total of 5.5 lbs. Yay, I am excited. Especially because we are all incouraging each other and I love that. My husband lost a total of 10 lbs. I am happy for him. They way I look at it, we lost a 6 month old baby somewhere. I just don't know where cuz, my clothes still fit the same. Wish me luck this week. I think I will add in the whole excercising thing, even if it is just walking. =]