Thursday, February 26, 2009

Challenge

I cannot ever pass up a challenge. Have you ever watched the show "The Biggest Loser"? I am one of those saps who sits my chunky monkey butt there and watches when they get weighed and cries with/for them. I don't catch this show every week but I have caught bits and pieces. I always get emotional. It makes me emotional knowing that my self esteem sucks and I HATE to go shopping for clothes. That I (unlike my petite sister =]) can't eat whatever I want without thinking about it. And why is it that the stuff that tastes good is never good for you. How fair is that????

So we have a family challenge going on... and it involves a little money. We are weighing in once a week and the person who loses the most percentage is safe. Everyone else pays a $1; not much, cuz we can't afford it and besides, that's not the only reason we are doing it. We are doing this for a start of 12 weeks and the person who has lost the most % at the end, will win the money. So you lose weight, feel better, look better, and get a little cash to buy that outfit.
I think there are about 8-10 of us in on this. Even my daycare assistant. I guess what I am loving about this is the support we are giving each other. I have a wedding that I am going to be in 7 months, so that is motivation enough. I know I can do it, I have before. But I still need the well wishes.... I need to kick my butt in gear. Which mean....off this computer for the night! Love ya all!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My Pre-Teen

2-11-97


And my baby is another year older. 12 years ago tomorrow was one of the best and scariest days of my life. Best because I found out what my true calling was in life and that was to be a mother. If only we could get paid to be a mom! It was also the day that I almost lost my life.

I remember this day so vividly because I was two weeks overdue and knew they were going to give me Pitocin but asked to schedule it in the afternoon so I could go to college and take my accounting exam. When I left the doctor's office, I walked all the way out to the car and as soon as I reached for the car handle the first contraction hit. Wow, that was fast. Katelyn's dad drove me back to our apartment because who knew how far apart these were going to be. He decided to take a nap. But I was ready.... so I did circle laps in our little one bedroom apartment. And I have heard all the horror stories of "days of labor", so of course I ate my craving of chicken noodle soup because who knew how long it would be before my next meal.

I went back to the hospital and was admitted. I had a lot of family mostly in the waiting room. They were all excited. I think in all, there were about 23 people up there. My family is enough for a football team. I was against anything that could hurt my baby so I wanted to try and go without the epidural. I had the most awesome doctor but he was tall. So when the tables were raised up, the only one that could reach or see my head was my Aunt Linda. I pushed like crazy excited to find out if I would have a healthy boy or girl (I wanted to be surprised). Both my mom and Dori were at the end of the bed with my Aunt Cheryl, who for some reason I really focused on because she was counting with/for me. My sister Jessica was there and of course Tony. Everyone else was in the waiting room. Then she came out... and she was beautiful. They put her up to my head so I could see her and I cried because she was so beautiful. 12:29 a.m.


And then Dr. Reichert told me to push the afterbirth out. I didn't feel the need to push but didn't know if that was normal or not and knew that it had to come out. So I pushed. And Dr. Reichert said, "Oh shit." I didn't think that was a good sign. My uterus ended up coming out and I lost soooo much blood. He tried to push it back in and it was the worst pain of my LIFE. I will spare the rest of the gross details but a surgeon was called. My mom gave Katelyn to Jessica to try and stop her from crying but I remember looking at the fear in her eyes.


I told my mom to please take care of Katelyn and I was off to the surgery room. I didn't even get to hold her and that bothered me soooo bad. I remember waking up and the next thing I knew, my soup was being thrown up in the garbage can. I got to my room about 5:30 am and was surprised that not ONE person had left. They were all still there. Everyone drifted in and out to tell me they were glad that I was OK. But I begged to have my baby brought in.


They brought her in and put her in my arms. I cried. My intention was to take care of her that night/morning in my room, but I was so sore and my stomach hurt so bad. I felt like the worst mother in the world when I asked the nurse to take her back to the nursery because I couldn't even get out of bed when she cried to take care of her. I had to hold pillows over my stomach when I laughed throughout the next few weeks just to help ease the pain.


But I was alive.... and I would get to raise my baby girl. Over the next 12 years, she has grown into a beautiful young lady. She is just as strong as the day she was born. And I am so happy that God gave me this job. Katelyn is smart, stubborn, beautiful, and my girly girl all the way. She is strong and talented, loving and warm hearted. She cries at happy moments just like I do and is willing to help anyone. She loves little children and hugs. She has the biggest brown eyes and the widest smile upon her face. And I am proud! I would do it all over again to have her in my life. My family makes me more complete. Thank you Katelyn for being my 1st baby girl. I love you more than you know.