Our Meagan

I didn't forget to blog her birthday...I was just so busy. Our Meagan is a hoot. She had her 8th birthday this last Friday, April 10th. It's one of those awesome, happy, sad days. If that makes any sense. I love birthdays. The memory of that day going into labor. The fact that I was high risk because of my delivery with Katelyn but willing to try again. Shawn and I went into the hospital to get a check on the monitor and see if they were going to admit us. We were supposed to be at Charity's house for Pop's (Shawn's dad's) birthday dinner. Obviously we were late. I told Charity to not tell them in case they didn't admit us. I didn't want them to get excited if we didn't stay. No sooner had they decided to admit us, and I was going around another corner (doing laps), Shawn's parents come busting through the doors. First phrase...."I knew you would be here." The next thing I knew, I had Shawn on one side of me and his dad on the other walking the halls and doing laps with me. It was funny. Sue was there too but was visiting a niece that had delivered a few hours before me. Then my mom and sister were called. We didn't call anyone else this time because last time I had over 20 people there. In case this went bad, like the last delivery, I didn't want to scare too many people. I had to have an epidural because of the procedure we were going to have to go through...and no...I will not give details here. Just that I didn't feel too much after that and decided I LOVE those things.

I was watching the clock and thinking there was no way that I was going to have this baby on Shawn's dad's birthday. Then at one point after 11:30, they told me that I was dialated to a 10. How the hell did that happen? Again...gotta love epidurals. The said at any point I would feel "the need" but to let them know so they could get the doctor. I told them to get him, she was coming out. It was a completely funny moment because I am so focused on the clock. I had my mom and sister telling me to "slow down, deep breaths, (fearing for a delivery repeat). And then I had Pops on the other side telling me to "Hurry up". I seriously started laughing. As I was waiting for the doctor to come in, the nurse is telling me to stop and I am still looking at the clock. There was no way I was stopping. And she arrived....11:59 p.m. Determination. I looked over at Pops and said, "Sorry I didn't have time to get you anything for your birthday. This is it." Sue laughed.

So Meagan's birthday is a great day. But it is also sad, because we miss her PaPaw. But she knows she shares this day with him. She had an eventful birthday this year. I took both the girls to the Frederik Meijer Butterfly garden. I had never been there before. It was some nice Mommy time.

"Butterfly Meagan"

The girls together
Meagan

One of the beautiful many butterflies

My mom and Jessica came over along with Sue and JT for a dinner at our house the day before. We colored Easter Eggs all together.

Meagan coloring her eggs.

Meagan with Aunt Jessica

Granny with Meagan

Grandma Robin, Uncle Geoff, and Katelyn

Shawn didn't have to work on Good Friday, so he started Meagan's B-Day with Katelyn at the gym. Then took the girls to the driving range to get their swing on. Thanks to PaPa Jon, Meagan has had her own set of clubs for about a year. You think it's nuts that an 8 year old loves to golf, but she loves it!
Then while Katelyn and I had an agenda, Shawn took Meagan to go ride horses. Yup...of course. We finished off the night with a local Hockey Game, where the Lumberjacks kicked butt. And then she got up the next morning to do some birthday shopping with Granny. She had a busy birthday.

Now it is that time of year for T-Ball to start up. And she is so excited.

Things about Meagan that you may not know:

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  She loves all animals, especially horses. I swear if she doesn't work with animals when she gets older, I don't know what she will do.


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  She has the funniest fake laugh ever.


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  She LOVES her big sister. Yes, they can nit-pick and fight, but when it comes down to it, she adores Katelyn


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  She doesn't like school and will often say her tummy hurts. If she only knew it gets worse.


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  She loves sports. Some of her favorites are golf, baseball, basketball, bowling, and of course riding. And we go to the football games. Will be going more now that Shawn is coaching again.


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  She rides the couch like she is riding a horse. Yup, with her harness and everything.


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  She is a total Daddy's girl.


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  She has recently gotten a DS and loves that thing! And loves to watch movies. Just hide the Patriot if she comes over. She loves it, we just think it's a little too much for her.


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  She loves to make "camps" to sleep in out in the living room.


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  She loves spending time one on one with family.


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  Meagan has the best hugs....literally will squeeze you to death.
  
  
  Ahhhh, I love this girl.

And then they're gone.

OK, first I will start off with the fact that I am totally bummed right now. It took me forever to get used to using a digital. I love my 35 mm. But I love having a digital now. You can get rid of photos that you don't want plus, I don't have pics laying all around. I can put them on a disc and print them when I need to. But when Shawn did the polar plunge a few weeks ago, my camera decided to quit working. I need to take it in and see if it is fixable at all because I hate not having photos to upload on blogger, facebook, or myspace.

I have had somewhat of an emotional week this last week. Lots of memories and emotions going on. I posted pics last summer of my grandpa. He had been fighting his battle of small cell cancer. Throughout this last year, he has been very strong and good. He married his girlfriend of three years, Sandy. She is absolutely wonderful and takes really good care of him. They went on a cruise for their honeymoon, knowing that when he got back, the start of chemo would be happening again. His cancer is back. He is also deciding to put his house up for sale. And I think that is where the emotions hit.

I completely understand selling the house and moving into Sandy's. It makes sense. Why pay two utilities, two taxes, have mail coming to two houses? I get it. But helping pack up things in a house that I briefly lived in but have known my whole life was hard. This is the house my mom and uncles grew up in. The house my grandpa and grandma shared a life in.

To be honest, my mom and her dad have a very strained relationship. I am so lucky that I have a relationship with him. My mom loves him but for some reason that none of us know...he isn't as willing with her. Even my sister isn't that lucky and I feel GUILTY that I do have a good bond with him. And I have prayed. Over and over again. That things (even though not perfect) can make some sort of ammends. Life is short. While packing up the china and cabinet to come to my house, I got really emotional. This is the china that my grandma bought when my mom was little. I went through pictures and found some that I had never seen. Then while upstairs with Sandy, I found my uncle Tony's baby book with his baby bracelet. And the tears came on. Handwriting from my grandma's fingertips (she died when I was three). My uncle's first moments (he died when I was eight). My mom has lost a lot.

I had invited Grandpa and Sandy to our church this weekend because they were having their 20th anniversary deal. I had mentioned to mom that our old pastor was going to be there so she wanted to come. I told Sandy that mom was coming and to let grandpa know. No surprises. Mom sat next to Sandy during this Sunday's church service and then Grandpa invited ALL of us to brunch afterwards. Even mom. No, they did not talk. There was no lovey dovey. But mom and Sandy talked and laughed. Grandpa had a good time with us. And mom thanked Sandy for taking good care of her dad. And she hugged him goodbye. Even though nothing will come of it, it was a good day. One my mom had been wanting for so long and I thank Grandpa for giving that to her. And I pray. God is good. Love is life.

Men???

Why is it that men lose weight quicker than women? We do all the hard work of giving birth and unfortunately that is where all our weight gain comes from and they lose it quicker, like they work as hard to get it off! LOL...

No seriously, we had our first weigh in challenge and I am down a total of 5.5 lbs. Yay, I am excited. Especially because we are all incouraging each other and I love that. My husband lost a total of 10 lbs. I am happy for him. They way I look at it, we lost a 6 month old baby somewhere. I just don't know where cuz, my clothes still fit the same. Wish me luck this week. I think I will add in the whole excercising thing, even if it is just walking. =]

Challenge

I cannot ever pass up a challenge. Have you ever watched the show "The Biggest Loser"? I am one of those saps who sits my chunky monkey butt there and watches when they get weighed and cries with/for them. I don't catch this show every week but I have caught bits and pieces. I always get emotional. It makes me emotional knowing that my self esteem sucks and I HATE to go shopping for clothes. That I (unlike my petite sister =]) can't eat whatever I want without thinking about it. And why is it that the stuff that tastes good is never good for you. How fair is that????

So we have a family challenge going on... and it involves a little money. We are weighing in once a week and the person who loses the most percentage is safe. Everyone else pays a $1; not much, cuz we can't afford it and besides, that's not the only reason we are doing it. We are doing this for a start of 12 weeks and the person who has lost the most % at the end, will win the money. So you lose weight, feel better, look better, and get a little cash to buy that outfit.
I think there are about 8-10 of us in on this. Even my daycare assistant. I guess what I am loving about this is the support we are giving each other. I have a wedding that I am going to be in 7 months, so that is motivation enough. I know I can do it, I have before. But I still need the well wishes.... I need to kick my butt in gear. Which mean....off this computer for the night! Love ya all!

My Pre-Teen

2-11-97

And my baby is another year older. 12 years ago tomorrow was one of the best and scariest days of my life. Best because I found out what my true calling was in life and that was to be a mother. If only we could get paid to be a mom! It was also the day that I almost lost my life.

I remember this day so vividly because I was two weeks overdue and knew they were going to give me Pitocin but asked to schedule it in the afternoon so I could go to college and take my accounting exam. When I left the doctor's office, I walked all the way out to the car and as soon as I reached for the car handle the first contraction hit. Wow, that was fast. Katelyn's dad drove me back to our apartment because who knew how far apart these were going to be. He decided to take a nap. But I was ready.... so I did circle laps in our little one bedroom apartment. And I have heard all the horror stories of "days of labor", so of course I ate my craving of chicken noodle soup because who knew how long it would be before my next meal.

I went back to the hospital and was admitted. I had a lot of family mostly in the waiting room. They were all excited. I think in all, there were about 23 people up there. My family is enough for a football team. I was against anything that could hurt my baby so I wanted to try and go without the epidural. I had the most awesome doctor but he was tall. So when the tables were raised up, the only one that could reach or see my head was my Aunt Linda. I pushed like crazy excited to find out if I would have a healthy boy or girl (I wanted to be surprised). Both my mom and Dori were at the end of the bed with my Aunt Cheryl, who for some reason I really focused on because she was counting with/for me. My sister Jessica was there and of course Tony. Everyone else was in the waiting room. Then she came out... and she was beautiful. They put her up to my head so I could see her and I cried because she was so beautiful. 12:29 a.m.


And then Dr. Reichert told me to push the afterbirth out. I didn't feel the need to push but didn't know if that was normal or not and knew that it had to come out. So I pushed. And Dr. Reichert said, "Oh shit." I didn't think that was a good sign. My uterus ended up coming out and I lost soooo much blood. He tried to push it back in and it was the worst pain of my LIFE. I will spare the rest of the gross details but a surgeon was called. My mom gave Katelyn to Jessica to try and stop her from crying but I remember looking at the fear in her eyes.


I told my mom to please take care of Katelyn and I was off to the surgery room. I didn't even get to hold her and that bothered me soooo bad. I remember waking up and the next thing I knew, my soup was being thrown up in the garbage can. I got to my room about 5:30 am and was surprised that not ONE person had left. They were all still there. Everyone drifted in and out to tell me they were glad that I was OK. But I begged to have my baby brought in.


They brought her in and put her in my arms. I cried. My intention was to take care of her that night/morning in my room, but I was so sore and my stomach hurt so bad. I felt like the worst mother in the world when I asked the nurse to take her back to the nursery because I couldn't even get out of bed when she cried to take care of her. I had to hold pillows over my stomach when I laughed throughout the next few weeks just to help ease the pain.


But I was alive.... and I would get to raise my baby girl. Over the next 12 years, she has grown into a beautiful young lady. She is just as strong as the day she was born. And I am so happy that God gave me this job. Katelyn is smart, stubborn, beautiful, and my girly girl all the way. She is strong and talented, loving and warm hearted. She cries at happy moments just like I do and is willing to help anyone. She loves little children and hugs. She has the biggest brown eyes and the widest smile upon her face. And I am proud! I would do it all over again to have her in my life. My family makes me more complete. Thank you Katelyn for being my 1st baby girl. I love you more than you know.

Resolutions??

We had a really good New Year. We hung out with our friends at the same place we have for the last 3 years. We play cards and more importantly,...the kids are allowed. I hate the idea of getting a sitter to go to a bar. So here are a few photos of our New Year's.

Me with Katelyn

Me, Shawn and Meagan

Shawn and Meagan

Katelyn and Shawn

It's that time of year when everyone make resolutions. The problem is sticking with them...

So I have decided that I don't like the phrase "resolutions". So here are my hopes, goals, dreams for me and my family this year.


1) For Meagan- I hope and pray that she continues to grow with school. This is very hard for her and she has surprised me by her willingness to keep trying even when something is hard. I am looking forward to her trying T-Ball again this year and whatever else that puts a smile on her face, (which isn't hard to do).


2) For Katelyn- This is an easy one. Katelyn has enjoyed gymnastics for most of her life. Unfortunately since I started this blog, she has been injured and unable to compete. So my blogland friends and family have not seen any updated photos of a young lady who is talented and enjoys this sport with all of her heart. We are used to NOT being home and traveling as a family on the weekends. Seeing us Nov-May was not common. I would love for Katelyn to be healthy and strong enough to begin Level 7 again and see a smile on her face when she knows she has done well.


3) For Shawn- well, he officially put his two week notice in today. He has never quit a job before. So this feeling is leaving him a little uneasy, although he is totally excited and pumped up about starting a new job at Honeywell. This is a company that keeps it employees around for a long time and I don't think we will have to worry about layoffs. I hope that Shawn is happy with this new turn for him and he knows that I support him.


4) for me- I think for myself I actually set a goal. I worry too much about what people think, and have always tried to be a people pleaser. While I still want to do my best to be a good person, I also have to learn not to try to fix everything. I need to breath and just realize that some things happen and that's all there is to it. You can't change what people say, do, judge, and I have to let it go. This is a huge one for me. I am an emotional person.... but I will be so much happier if I try not to carry so much weight. Literally speaking...I wouldn't mind losing some weight this year either. Jessica's wedding is in 8 months...so I've got a lot of work to do :)


I love when smiles are on my face and my families. I am looking forward to a better start than how last year ended. I envision a bright and wonderful year where our family is happy, healthy, and open to adventure.

(Just to throw it in)
A picture of Jessica and Geoff in front of their new house. It's almost finished.

Chrismtas 2008